Years ago in my experience with pastors and churches that were evangelical Christian, I recognized events that were happening that others in the church did not. It sometimes became a source of friction that could not be smoothed or abated for lack of understanding or communication. As much as I tried, I was incapable of conveying my feelings or knowledge. When I finally did relate some of my concern, it often was picked up and used by others to their own advantage without acknowledging the source which for them would have been folly. The benefit was theirs and I was often tarred to demote my impact and significance. I eventually left the churches stronger and wiser. But it was a cruel time for me yet helpful because I sought the Lord and grew closer to Him in prayer of the type visible in this sonnet. (5/20/1988)
Oh Father, I cry for Your Truth and Love.
This son's* been birthed. The Lamb's been born in me.
And on my shouldered bosom reigns Your Dove,
For all the churchy folk to watch and see.
But few of them do see the work you've done.
They disallow the force you've made my mind.
And overthrow that You in me have won
By making me not of you, but their kind!
And then I'm forced to watch as other "sons,"**
Appear to take the golden ring of You.
Freedom engendered by me, pure Christ son,
They don't acknowledge freed them toward Your Truth.
Oh Father! When will I be recognized
As Kingdom*** Son and not be so despised?
*son: relates to a man or woman in Christ who has grown to a profound spiritual state
**"sons": false sheep; coattail riders; wolves in sheep's clothing
***Kingdom: Inheritor of God's Graces and Wisdom with efficacy and power by Faith.