I thought about adding a photograph to this sonnet. And then I realized the black background of this blog is what FAITH, my faith, is all about, a blackout of my trust in realms of physical sight (representing carnality). Years ago, when I taught, I awakened from a nightmare that I remembered. In the nightmare, I was driving down the road in complete darkness, blackness, a night so black I couldn't see an inch before me let alone the road. Yet I was driving, somehow, moving along and there were others in the car with me, two students I taught years ago in their ninth year, who, at the time (I knew this, sensed this and still remember who one of them was; forgot the other.) thought I was not only weird, but who did not appreciate or LIKE me. (It was in 1987, around the time of the Jessica Hahn scandal and my decision to take a stand against the church she had been a part of and the leadership who supported her.) Anyway, when I woke up, I did and didn't understand the dream, based upon my journey in Christ up to that point. Now, I see its meaning for today and realize it is coming to pass and has come true. I am blind.
Upon the road, when driving home to write,
It came to me, a searing, striking flash,
That blind I was, His Love had darkened sight.
And taking up the sword, the Word, I'd slashed,
My trust in physical realms, my senses five.
I'd pierced my physical sight like Oedipus,
And drove the Word to gouge and gouge my eyes,
Til Truth in time became my greatest Trust.
And now Blind Faith embraces close my heart,
Draws me in love toward God who can't been seen
And Christ, the "world" THINKS dead will always start
My days to SEE His work in planes between,
The living and the dead, the dark the light
The spiritual world, the physical realm of sight.*
The Word of the Lord counsels us to walk by faith not by sight. This was a long and gradual process for me to understand.